dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
