I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
