at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
