If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
