I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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