So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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