You made me cry and you don't even care
I can tuck mytits in my pants
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
