I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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