the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
