you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
They took my balls.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
