onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
