And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think my vagina is haunted
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There's always time for handjobs
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
