bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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