she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
