What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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