"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
