I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How external is "for external use only"?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
