I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
