I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
