in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Alive.
So much puke
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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