I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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