apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize