Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
