and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
