Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
