There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize