is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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