It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize