You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
