i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
