I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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