Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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