Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
