I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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