The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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