In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
