I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
