She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize