i just google imaged poop.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
