chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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