the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
