i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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