M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
