I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
