We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
