her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
