I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize