i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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