Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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