im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
