walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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