john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
