I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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