maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
