Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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