P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
