lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
