Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
wow bdsm is so cute
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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