from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
