Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Blood and glitter go together right?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
