I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I lost the right to judge tonight
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
